Squirrel Proofing I

A few people have asked about the status of my battle with Squirrel. Although it is painful and slightly humiliating for me to admit this - No, I have not yet tasted victory. We have had many battles, and the days have become a blur. But, I will continue to document the saga for those who are interested. I hope to break this story into a few parts and keep it as short as possible while attempting to maintain accuracy:

Not surprisingly, my first offensive attic-attack, while armed with the beating stick and peanut butter, was unsuccessful. It did not result in a bloody Squirrel (nor was I injured). However, it did make me feel like the superior being . . . for a few hours. The next morning, Squirrel returned. I devised a plan.

After work, I began implementing my defensive strategy. I took a trip to Home Depot and outfitted myself with chicken wire, a staple gun, steel wool, and a can of foam gap filler. Strapping the gear to my body, I climbed onto the roof. Things went well at first - I got on the roof without killing myself, which is a huge plus.

While on the roof, I took a survey and spied a few holes. Then, I began operation "Squirrel Proofing."












I crammed myself between the two roof-windows and shimmied my way up to a hole, with a hammer poised to strike and my staple gun ready to fire if Squirrel were to attack my face. I reached the hole and began to plug it. Then, the unimaginable happened . . . no Squirrel did not jump out of the hole and rabidly gnaw on my face like Lauren and I feared, rather, my staple gun jammed!

Although I was disappointed, I thought that I should wrap things up for the day. It was also getting dark. I think that Squirrel was waiting for the cover of darkness to strike at me (I believe he was preparing an attack on the other side of the roof). All I could do was ram the steel wool and chicken wire into the hole, then retreat quickly into the house. I would have to postpone the full implementation of operation Squirrel Proofing.